Tag Archives: incoherently

Get Your Own ADHD!

Did you know there are ADHD advocacy groups out there?  Yep, there are.  Cool groups of people that go around talking up ADHD.  It’s awesome, and I’m right there with them!  I think everyone should have ADHD.  If you don’t have it yet- get it!  That’s what I say.

Now, for those of you that don’t have it yet but are interested in obtaining a customized and personal version for yourself stay tuned…  I’m gonna offer three never-fail tips on how to do it.  It’s easier than you may think.  

First, you have to practice losing your keys, wallet, and sunglasses.  You don’t have to like… really lose them, just… kind of lose them.  You know, for like ten minutes or so.  Do that a couple times a day for a week or two and you’ll be well on your way.  

Next, you must practice walking from one room to another and completely forget why you changed locations.  Hmmm, lets see, I know I came in here for something… what was it?  You then stand there in the middle of the room and turn around a couple of times with a very thoughtful look on you face hoping that you will see something that will jog your memory.  Nothing comes, but you do see something that you had been working on earlier in the day when someone or something came along and pulled you away.  You begin again on that project and just as you pick it up- you remember that you needed this or that from another room in order to finish it, which, you then recall, is why it was left unfinished in the first place.  So you go to the adjoining room where, you forget why you changed locations and…  It’s delightful!  This skill may take a little practice from those of you that don’t have that gift naturally.

Also, you must obtain a certain amount of loathing of paperwork to truly get your own ADHD.  Say, for example, a loathing scale goes from 1 to 10 with 10 being the most you could loath something, you must score at least a 13 or higher.  If you score a 13 or higher, obtaining that special ability to look at paperwork for hours at a time and not do any of it becomes easy.  Not out of lazyness, per se, just rather, because it’s paperwork and you loath it.

So, there you have it.  The first three steps necessary in obtaining ADHD for yourself.  Now, go!  Fight!  Win!  

      

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